Not so great memories
by sloop3000
Summary: During my version of Jule's psych eval, things get a little emotional.


*****A/N I don't own anything! *****

"Jules, it's your turn. Your sergeant and Dr. Toth are in briefing room number one." Donna told the tiny SRU officer.

She took a deep breath and started for the briefing room.

"Hey Jules." Greg said as she entered the room. She was trying her best not to look nervous but she knew that Greg could see through her. She desperately hopped that Dr. Toth, the military psychologist, could not.

As soon as Dr. Toth looked down to his lie detecting machine, Greg mouthed the word _relax_ to Jules, she made herself loosen up.

_I have nothing to worry about._ She thought to herself. _Greg's here with me and all I have to do is tell the truth, it's not like I'm hiding anything!_

"Alright Juliana, let's begin." Dr. Toth said, looking her in the eyes.

_Is he trying to make me nervous?_

"If you'll lift your arms up, I need to hook you up to my machine here." He said as he gestured to his lie detecting machine. She did as she was asked and he started to hook her up. "Okay," He said, sitting back down in his chair. "Let's start with word association. I tell you a word and you say the first word that comes to mind."

Jules nodded her head.

"Bad guys."

"Cops." She answered without hesitation. Greg smiled; he knew she would be good at this.

"annoying."

"Brothers." Greg smiled again.

"Alberta."

"Home."

"Friend."

"Jennifer."

"Boyfriend."

This one got her. She hesitated before she answered. "Trust." That surprised Greg; he was expecting her to say _Steve._

"Alright Juliana, you're good at that." Jules smiled. "So I have a few things that I want to ask you about. The first is why did you hesitate when I said boyfriend?"

Jules looked down at her hands, which were folded together. "Um, you just caught me off guard I guess."

She could hardly finish speaking before Toth was all over her. "So do you mean to tell me that if you were on a call and someone said boyfriend, you would hesitate to do what? Shoot? Talk somebody down?"

Jules cut him off before he could go any further. "No, it's just that I didn't think that was the direction you were heading in." She was annoyed already.

"Tell me something Juliana, do you have a boyfriend?" Toth growled at her.

"No." She said turning red. She could feel Greg staring a whole in her. Greg knew about Steve, the whole team did (Much to her embarrassment) but Greg didn't know that they had decided to just be friends. She didn't have the courage to look at him, so instead she just kept looking at her hands.

"Alright, let's move on." Toth got a new piece of paper and was ready to write. "So, you're the only female on the team."

"Clearly." She said.

Ignoring her remark, he kept going. "Do you ever feel like they treat you any different?"

"No." Immediately, all of their eyes looked to the lie detecting machine. To all of their surprise, the line moved only half a centimetre, not even.

"Good, do you feel that sometimes you have been placed in the truck and not out in the action because you are in a dangerous situation, and your team feels that you would be safer in the truck?"

Jules thought about all the times that she had been in the truck. She remembered thinking that she should be out there. After all, she was one of the best snipers. She remembered the time that they were on a call at a prison, regarding an attempted breakout. She was in the truck, but clearly, she would have been a lot more useful out on the field.

She looked up to see both men staring at her. She looked to Greg; she knew that he knew what her answer was. "Be honest Jules." Greg told her as she looked back to Toth.

"Um, Sarge always puts us where he thinks we can be the most useful."

"Okay, that's the right answer, but what's _your_ answer?"

Jules sighed. "I guess sometimes I have been."

"Have been what?"

Jules sighed in frustration. He knew exactly what. "Have been put in the truck."

"When?" He was never going to give up.

"When I think I should have been out fighting with my team." This time it was Greg who looked down at his hands. Jules was like his daughter. He didn't know what he would do if he ever lost her. He just wanted to keep her safe.

"Okay." He was writing on his notepad. It seemed like hours before he finally looked up again.

"Now, the other thing I wanted to talk to you about was your mom." Jules gasped. Greg looked at Jules' horrified expression and then to Toth.

"That has nothing to do with the job." Greg told Toth.  
"Oh, I think it does." He looked back to Jules. "Tell me Juliana, how was your relationship with your mom when you were a kid?" He couldn't make his voice anymore vicious.

Jules' couldn't speak. When Greg tried to, Toth cut him off telling him that he was not allowed to answer.

"Miss Callaghan, I asked you a question."

"She died when I was young." Jules answered him.

"How did she die Juliana?"

"A drunk driver hit her with his car. I was with her." She was speaking so quietly, the men could hardly hear her.

_Flashback_

"_Mommy, maybe we can get ice cream on the way back from the store?" Asked a seven year old Jules_. _It was around supper time and Jules and her mother decided to walk to the farmer's market to get some potatoes. The two of them were going to make a big turkey dinner even though it was in the middle of the summer. They did this every year. The whole Callaghan family loved themselves a good turkey dinner._

"_Okay sweet heart, but just this once. We don't want to ruin your supper." Jules smiled and took her mother's hand._

_On their way out of the store, Jules reminded her mother about their ice cream and they took a left to head for the ice cream shop._

"_It's such a beautiful day isn't it honey?" Her mom asked as she smiled down to her only daughter. But before Jules had the chance to speak she was thrown across the road, her hand being ripped away from her mothers._

_Jules hit the ground with such force that she could see stars. She didn't know what happened, all she knew was that she couldn't find her mother in the jumble of three cars that were burning on fire right before her eyes._

_Not too long after she had hit the ground, there were police and fire fighters and ambulances all around her. She could hear people saying comforting things in her ears, but everything sounded and looked like one big mess. Her little head couldn't take anymore, and she blacked out._

_Once she came to, she realized that she was in a hospital. She felt sick and everything on her little body was hurting her. She noticed someone sitting in a chair next to her bed. When the person realized that she was awake she immediately came over and sat on her bed._

"_Hi honey, how are you?" It was Jules' aunt._

_Jules tried to speak but found that she couldn't. Her aunt handed her a glass of water. She took a sip and tried again. "What happened?"_

"_Oh honey, a bad man who shouldn't have been driving hurt you and a whole lot of other people. But he is in jail now, and he will never ever hurt you again." _

_Jules thought about what her aunt said. She didn't have the chance to say anything else before her dad and four brothers came into her room_

"_Hey pumpkin." Her dad said as he kissed the top of her head. Jules slowly started to remember all the events that had happened earlier on. She remembered her hand tearing away from her mothers, and then not being able to find her…._

"_Daddy?"_

"_Yeah princess?" Jules couldn't figure out why he was being so comforting to her._

"_Where's mommy?"_

_Her dad's eye's filled with salty water and he got up and left the room. Her brothers followed him. Jules looked to her aunt._

"_Where's mommy?" She asked again. Water filling her own eyes._

"_Sweetie, remember when your great nana went to heaven because God thought it was her time to go see him?" Her aunt was trying her best not to cry._

"_Are you telling me that momma died?" Her aunt's heart broke at the sight of her niece. Little Juliana had tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, running over the cuts and bruises that she had received thanks to some idiot who thought he was okay to drive. He thought he wasn't drunk._

"_Yeah baby, I'm so sorry." She put her head on Jules' lap, and they cried together._

_End of flashback_

"Jules. Jules!" Greg was calling to her. She looked like she was in a trance.

"It was my fault." Jules whispered.

"What was?" Asked Toth.

"My mom died because of me."

"No Jules. No, it wasn't your fault." Greg started to get out of his chair so that he could comfort his team mate/daughter.

"Yeah it was Sarge. It's my fault." She started to unhook the wires and machines from herself.

"We are not done here Callaghan!" Toth raised his voice at her. Greg did not like this.

"Oh yes we are!" He said back just as loudly. He helped Jules unhook herself. Jules looked to Greg, and he told her to go. She left the briefing room, still looking dazed.

"Sergeant Parker! You have no authority to let my patients go without my consent!" Toth yelled at Parker.  
"First of all, they are _not _your patients! Second of all you had no right to talk to her about that! That was in the personal notes that you were not authorized to look at!" Greg yelled back.

Mean while, Jules was heading to her locker room when she heard her name being called.

"Jules, you okay?"

"Yeah Winnie, he brought up a really touchy subject that's all." Jules said to her best friend at work.

"I guess." She said as they both heard Greg and Toth yelling at each other in the briefing room. "Well if you want to talk, I'll be right here."

"Thanks Winnie." She continued on her way to the woman's locker room.

Just as Jules was out of Winnie's sight, Greg came storming out of the room. "Where's Jules?" He asked Winnie.

"She went to her locker room." Winnie answered him.

Greg turned on his heels and entered her room without bothering to knock.

"Jules?" Greg called out for her. She didn't answer, but he heard her crying. He walked around the corner and found her sitting on a bench, head in her hands.

"Oh honey." He murmured as he sat down beside her and put his arm around her shoulder. They sat there for a few minutes, before Jules decided to break the silence.

"It's my fault Greg. I wanted ice cream. If I hadn't bugged my mom for that damn ice cream, she'd still be alive." Jules said between tears.

"You don't know that sweetie. And it most definitely is not your fault! It could have happened to anyone."

"If my mom hadn't of died, I would probably be completely different. I did ballet you know, but when she died, my dad pulled me out. I would be a whole different person." Her tears had slowed and she was concentrating on even breathing.

"Yeah, but Jules, if that were the case, you wouldn't know any of us, you wouldn't have any of those goofy guys that we call a team." He forced a smile on to his face, just for her.

"Well, that's true. That would suck. You guys are like my family. I don't know what I would do without any of you."

"And we don't know what we would do without our spunky little Jules." That put a real smile on both of their faces. "We all love ya Jules. We need you, and we can't let some guy like Toth destroy what our team has going."

"You're right Greg. The team does have something special. I guess I just got overwhelmed with everything that's going on right now." Jules felt like an idiot of crying and spilling her guts in front of her boss. But then again, he was the person in her life that she trusted completely. Besides, it felt good to talk to someone.

"Alright Jules, I gotta ask you. Steve?"

_He had to ruin the moment!_ "We decided that we wanted to just be friends. We both got caught up in not seeing each other since high school and we both really just wanted someone. We didn't even consider that we were not the right one for each other. But in the end, it all worked out."

"Well that's good, it's a shame though, we liked Steve." He joked with her. They both laughed.

"Come on; let's go get the results on the future of the team."

*******A/N I decided to do something on Jules' mom since the show never said what actually happened to her. But what about that season finale? Intense! What do you guys think will happen? Review! Review! Review! ********


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